cherub_rock05 (cherub_rock05) wrote in help_them_heal,

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We Belong to Us

So a few of you might remember me. I posted here a couple months ago about the fact that I have to testify against my molester, my father, on June 23rd. Well, the day gets closer and closer, it's now June 6th. Sometimes when I think about it, I feel like I can't breathe, and my heart starts racing and my head spins. And though I'm more scared than I ever have been about anything else in my life...I'm beginning to feel like I can actually get through this in one piece. I fee like that freedom, from my past and from my father is only a few weeks away. After that, it will all be over. There will be nothing else left to do. I will have shaken the chains of child abuse loose. It feels as if salvation is just beyond the horizon.Well...I wrote a poem today and I wrote for me but I also wrote it for everyone else out there who has been abused and has let their past and their abuse or rape define who they are. Because it doesn't define you. It doesn't define me. It has taken me a very long time to come to realize that, I only hope that you can realize it to. So, this one's for us.

The End Of An Era
The days tick by like the timer on a bomb,
I become enveloped in isolation.
No one will hold my hand through this,
These last steps, I must take alone.
Don’t look back,
No I mustn’t look back,
I have to die to live again.
I slowly descend from this womb of pain and manipulation,
With my first breath I will cry out against you.
I will then drink from the breast of Fortitude
And cut the umbilical cord,
Binding me to your depravity.
I am no longer yours.
No more blood,
No more tears.
I do not fear you anymore.
Out of the darkness
And into the light.
I am mine.
I am mine.

These last steps I take alone.

-Hannah L. 6/6/08
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