Absolutely anyone who considers themselves a SOFFA (significant other, friend, family, ally) of an abuse survivor is more than welcome here. This community is intended as a place for SOFFAS to gather and support each other and to discuss the issues unique to dealing with a survivor of any kind of abuse, as well as to generally lavish love, concern, support and attention on each other.
Anyone is welcome to join - however, please keep reading in order to learn a little more in-depth about how this community is intended to function and what it's intended to do. Moreover, take note that this is a moderated community. We're not at all in the habit of refusing requests to join, but making it a moderated comm keeps the trolls, flamers, and voyeuristic at bay. If you do not want people to read what you post, PLEASE friends-lock it so that only accepted members of the community will be able to see it.
This community is:
Queer-friendly: too many allies of survivors (AoS) communities seem centered around heteronormative culture. This community will be inclusive of all genders and sexualities without passing judgment or implying that to be "healed" or "whole" one has to express one's sexuality in a certain way.
Respectful of all faiths: it's not in the interest of support or healing to enforce one particular set of moral values/judgments/beliefs over another. I'd like people of all faiths (or no faiths!) to feel more than welcome to participate and to understand that learning what it means to be an AoS does not require a subscription to a particular faith.
a supportive, respectful, understanding environment: this is a place for questions that are hard to answer. If you've ever wondered how to help an abuse victim heal, how to cope with psychological issues and treatments, how to ease back into physical intimacy (or deal with a lack thereof), how to handle triggers, low self-esteem, or to seek support for the depression *you* might feel from being the SOFFA of an abuse victim, speak up! Anything vaguely pertaining to the life of a SOFFA is more than welcome. However, hate speech, disrespect, flaming, and trolling will get you banned faster than you can imagine. Try to be respectful of the diverse genders/sexualities/ethnicities represented here, and you'll receive the same respect in return.
Finally, a word on how we define "abuse": Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, or verbal. It does not require scars and bruises to "prove" that it exists. Disempowerment is the crux of abuse and, if anyone disempowers in order to cause pain, to control, or to punish, through any number of means, then that's abuse. Arguing over what does and does not constitute "abuse" is not conducive to healing.
Please put potentially triggering content under a clearly labelled LJ-cut. Instructions about what constitues "triggering content," as well as a general FAQ and support information/hotlines, can be found in any of the public entries tagged "for your information." Thanks!